Nice Work: The human band-aid

Hey there,

Have you ever felt like a human band-aid at work?

Ok, so it’s not my most elegant metaphor, but I’ve found myself using it a lot in workshops and coaching sessions lately—because it’s the best way I can think of to describe the cycle I see people getting caught in.

Here’s what happens: an ambitious and energetic person gets told that in order to grow their discipline or increase their influence, they need to get out there and “demonstrate value” with partners and stakeholders. “Make them want to work with you!” leadership says. “That’s how you get invited to interesting projects and make a case for headcount.”

This happens most often with folks who are in what I call an “underdog” discipline in their organizations, like content design or user research (or even the design org as a whole, in a product- or eng-centric organization).

So the ambitious and energetic person goes all-in on “demonstrating value”: they jump in to smooth out a design issue right before launch—even though they should have been invited to the project months ago. They do some “quick and dirty” research that’s been squeezed in at the last second—even though it’s too late to have much impact. They notice a gap in another team’s process—and rush to fill it so the project doesn’t fail.

They hold office hours, they host training sessions, they field one-off requests from strangers on Slack. They make themselves super easy to work with and available for anything. They’re unfailingly helpful. Their partners and stakeholders love it. It makes their lives easier and their products better.

The problem is, it doesn’t ask anything of those other parties. They don’t have to change, so the status quo persists: The project invitations still come too late. The team is still under-resourced. The practice is still treated like a nice-to-have, not an essential function.

If this feels way too familiar, you might be serving as a human band-aid right now: an insufficient, overstretched patch holding the organization together, covering up its systemic dysfunction. What should be organizational pain—the pain of underinvesting in design, or running on too tight of a timeline, or failing to figure out what users need before building something—becomes your personal pain to bear.

And here’s the real kicker: working this way won’t get you that coveted “seat at the table,” either. Because chronic people-pleasing and never saying “no” creates a culture where your time is in high demand—but your work is perceived as low value.

I see so many people get stuck in this place, and I know how exhausting it feels. Hell, I spent a good long time there years ago, when I was trying to establish a content strategy discipline. I ended up with no boundaries, endless requests on my time, and ultimately a content practice that only functioned when I worked 60+ hours a week.

I thought I was building something meaningful. Turns out, I was mostly just breaking myself.

It doesn’t have to be this way, though. In fact, I talked to a woman leading a newish discipline at a big company the other day, and she told me her approach. Instead of chronically overworking so that her organization can continue chronically understaffing, she’s simply letting some things drop. If it breaks, it breaks. The organization has to feel the pain of its choices.

If you’ve been laser-focused on “demonstrating value” at all costs, this might sound impossible. “I can’t just let balls drop!” I hear you insisting. “I have to keep doing this!”

I feel you, friend. But I’d like to challenge you to reframe that. Because the truth is, you don’t have to do it. Maybe you feel pressured to do it by your leadership. Or you feel guilty when you think about letting people down. Or you get a quick hit of external validation when you show up and save the day. All of those are considerations, sure. But one of the most powerful things you can do to break the human band-aid cycle is to look at these as choices—so you can look at what’s driving those choices, and whether they’re really serving you.

For example, instead of saying, “I have to take on this last-minute project,” try framing it as a choice, and then naming why you’re making that choice:

Now, maybe you’ll still decide that the choice is worth it—that the risk to your career or reputation is too great not to. But by getting honest with yourself about the choices you’re making—and the fears behind those choices—you’ll make more intentional, long-term decisions about what’s really worth your time. You can ask yourself follow-up questions: Do I really want to build my career here if I have to work a zillion hours a week to make that happen? Has saying “yes” to rush projects in the past led me to exciting opportunities—or just more rush projects? If I say “no” to this, would the organization have to adapt instead?

In fact, that’s what the design leader I talked to the other day found. As soon as she let something break, people came out of the woodwork interested in fixing it. “What do you need?” they asked. “We can get you more resources,” they offered. No one was saying that when she was playing human band-aid. She had to stop for things to change.

Maybe you do, too. I hope this gives you some courage to give it a try. Because wherever you are, whatever your role, your greatest value is not being a human band-aid. It’s being human.

—Sara

Upcoming workshops 

If you missed our summer workshop series, we’re running them again for the fall, and we’d love to see you there! Tickets are $197 each, or $147 each for teams of 3+ registering together.  

October 26: Lead on Purpose 

If you’ve been playing “human band-aid” so long you don’t even know what YOU want anymore, come to this workshop. We’ll use a research-backed framework for identifying what meaningful work means to you now, and explore ways to reconnect with your sense of purpose while letting go of the rest. 

This workshop is for you if: 

• You feel like you’re burnt out, cynical, or “just getting by” 

• Your old goals don’t feel right anymore, but you’re not sure what you do want now 

• You’re struggling to find motivation or energy for work you used to love

November 2: Reignite Your Team 

If you’re the human band-aid holding together a team that’s fried, join this session. We’ll focus on ways to increase trust and connection—without adding more to your already overloaded plate.

You should come to this workshop if: 

• You’re a people manager, practice lead, or otherwise responsible for setting standards or supporting staff 

• You care about being supportive and humane, but you’re also hanging on by a thread

• You know that you need to increase trust and wellbeing for your team to thrive again

On the reading list

To read: Inclusive Design Communities by Sameera Kapila

“How do we ensure that our communities—from classrooms to workplaces to meetups—are welcoming to all who want to be a part of them?” That’s the question Sameera Kapila answers in Inclusive Design Communities, just out this week from our friends at A Book Apart. 

I talked with Sam back at the very start of her project, and I have been waiting for this book to come out ever since. I just finished my first read earlier this week, and it’s absolutely loaded with thoughtful, practical guidance. If you want a more inclusive and equitable team, company, hiring process, educational program, event—or literally any other place where designers gather—get your copy now.