Nice Work: The power skill all leaders need

Hey there,

You know what I love more than almost anything? Fixing things. 

When a friend gets laid off, I want to find them the perfect new job. When my partner feels down, I want to make him happy again. Hell, when someone I barely know posts that they’re frustrated at a situation, my first thought is often, “How could I solve that for them?”  

There’s only one problem: I can’t actually solve any of those problems. 

Even worse, as soon as I jump into fix-it mode, I stop doing the one thing that’s guaranteed to be useful every time: actually listening to them. Not so I can take over or have the answers. But just so they can be heard. 

The truth is, people are a lot more creative and resilient than we give them credit for. They often need less advice than we might think to solve a problem. 

When I trained as a coach back in 2019, I think that’s what surprised me the most: realizing that enabling others’ growth often didn’t require heavy lifting from me. That it was way less about fixing, and way more about staying present, reflecting back what I was hearing, and asking them questions that helped them be more honest with themselves—about what they were afraid of, what they truly wanted, and what was possible.   

Often when I hear managers talk about coaching their teams, though, they’re talking about doing something prescriptive: “He’s not running meetings well, so I’m coaching him on facilitation techniques,” they’ll say. Or, “Her cross-functional communication wasn’t working, so I coached her on how to build influence.” It’s about correcting a perceived deficiency.

Sometimes prescriptive feedback is useful, sure. But if that’s your perception of coaching, I’d love to widen it. Because there’s so much more we can offer our teams. 

Coaching is about helping people tap into their own strengths, knowledge, and curiosity. It’s not about having answers, but about asking really good questions—questions that help people break out of limiting beliefs or preconceived ideas, and start trying on new perspectives and approaches. 

When you help people get unstuck and solve their own problems, you might feel like you’re “not really doing anything.” But what you’re doing is wildly impactful—because instead of just getting an answer, the other party gains confidence in their own abilities. They learn that they know more than they thought. They build self-trust. And that leads to so many powerful things: More willingness to experiment. More confidence owning a point of view and sharing their perspective in meetings. More ownership of their work and their career path.  

Coaching doesn’t just help the coachee, either. If you’re in a manager or lead role, adopting a coaching approach more often can also help you. 

If you’re like the leaders I work with, I bet you’re feeling stretched right now: you’re juggling competing business priorities, trying to manage up and across, and attempting to keep everyone emotionally afloat amid a sea of gloomy employment news. It’s heavy. 

Adding coaching to your toolkit can make things lighter. More manageable. And honestly…more fun. Watching someone go from feeling stuck to feeling capable is energizing—and way more fulfilling than the short-term validation you might get from solving the problem for them.  

That’s why I think of coaching as not just a tool for professional coaches like me, but a power skill all leaders need. Because it unlocks growth without adding to your plate.

If you want to add coaching to your toolkit, we’ve got two workshops coming up designed specifically for managers and senior ICs—one next week over Zoom, and another in-person in May. Or check out some of the free coaching resources available on our site—including a whole bunch of coaching questions for different circumstances. 

And if you try out some coaching techniques with your team, let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear what you learn.  

— Sara

Upcoming coaching skills workshops

Remote: Coaching Skills for Design & Tech Leaders
March 6 from 1-3:30pm ET

Learn how to help your team (and yourself) face challenges with clarity, compassion, and courage. You’ll leave with powerful coaching skills you can apply right away in 1:1s, team meetings, and anywhere you want to kickstart your team’s growth.

Live in NYC: Coaching Skills for Content Leaders
May 11 at the Lead with Tempo Conference

We’ll also be running our coaching workshop—customized for content folks—in person at Tempo this year! If you’re a content leader, don’t miss this event—it’s got a stellar lineup! Save 15% on your ticket with the code SPEAKER15.

On the reading list

Don’t Just Sponsor Women and People of Color — Defend Them
Way too many people of power still keep quiet when they hear negative talk about someone from a historically marginalized group. Don’t be that person.

My Next Path: career planning during layoffs
Laid off? We love this simple, free career planning guide from Plucky.

Companies Can’t Ask You to Shut up to Receive Severance, NLRB Rules
A layoff shouldn’t muzzle you. We cheer for any legislation that puts power in the hands of workers. 

DEI Is a Multi-Billion Dollar Industry That Doesn’t Work. Here’s How to Change It
$8 billion is spent each year on diversity, equity, and inclusion programs in the US. Time to ask why we’re not getting the change we’re paying for. 

Future Forum Pulse Winter Snapshot
The data’s here: flexibility increases wellbeing. Those who don’t have the flexibility they want at work are 43% more likely to report feeling burned out.