Nice Work: Time to recalibrate

I was supposed to send you all an excited email about my group coaching program today. Enrollment is open, and I really want the program to thrive this year.

I worked on it all December—prepping materials, setting up a new community platform. And I kept thinking: ok, the election is over; the lawsuits have all failed; the vaccine is getting distributed. Folks will have had some time to rest over the holidays. Finally, it’ll be a good time to talk about this!

Lol.

I bet I’m not the only one who had other plans for this week: important work to get done, meetings to attend, 300 unread emails to slog through. But if we’ve learned anything this past year, it’s this:

The world doesn’t run on my schedule, or yours.

When things are uncertain or scary—like, say, a violent white supremacist coup attempt—it can feel like there are two choices: either get sucked into the doomscroll, or distract yourself with work. Freeze up or run away. I’ve seen it this week—some friends have been up until 3am every night, panic-watching MSNBC or angry-tweeting into the void. Others have told me they’re “powering through” or “keeping their head down.”

These are normal responses, but they’re also limited ones. Doomscrolling and obsessing is a form of the freeze response—we sit panicked and powerless, waiting for the next blow. Throwing yourself into work is a form of the flight response—a way to avoid thinking about awful things and feeling painful feelings. Get stuck in either, and you’ll find yourself feeling exhausted and alone.

There are more ways to meet this moment, though. So if any of the above resonates with you, I hope you’ll take some time to pause today.

It’s not selfish to close the breaking news tabs and your work email, and come back to yourself and your body. It’s critical. Because more than anything, this is a moment where we need each other—we need community, solidarity, hope. And the first step to connecting with others is to reconnect with ourselves—to find compassion for that scared, exhausted, angry, grieving human animal inside us.

Befriend that person. Ask what they’re really feeling. Find out what they need. And let that knowledge reconnect you with yourself, your power, and your purpose in this moment.

Here are three things I found worth reading right now:

1. Anne Helen Petersen on How to Work through a Coup

2. Ella F. Washington, Alison Hall Birch, and Erika Hall on How to Talk with Your Team About the Violence at the US Capitol

3. And from the start of the pandemic, but perhaps more needed than ever, Aisha S. Ahmad on Why You Should Ignore All That Coronavirus-Inspired Productivity Pressure

And with that, I’ll close by saying that my group program is still enrolling, and I still believe in it with my whole heart. I’ll send a marketing email or two over the next couple weeks, when it feels right.

I hope some of you join, because the program is all about becoming more courageous leaders—leaders who know what they stand for, and feel confident speaking up for it, even when things are hard and scary. We need as much of that as possible right now.

If you’re interested, we start February 3. All the details are here, and there's a free info session next Thursday.

With solidarity and love, 

Sara