A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about the misconception that burnout recovery means going back to who you were—when it actually means getting familiar with the person you are now.
That kind of recovery is a slow, deep process. It’s not the kind of exploration you time-box on your calendar or dabble in between Slack chats… especially if you’re ducking the same stressors that crushed you in the first place.
Healing requires time and space. But knowing that, and acting on that, are two very different things. It’s risky to step away from work—even when you know you need to, and have the finances to safely do it. That the dilemma shared by this week’s letter writer on Per My Last Email:
I got laid off recently and am struggling in an unexpected way. I’m fortunate to have a supportive partner and financial runway: I can afford to be unemployed for the foreseeable future.
Meanwhile, I really need a break from work—to rest my mind, to slow down, and to rediscover my joy. While this combination of circumstances might seem like a silver lining to an otherwise rough setback, I’m struggling to take the rest the universe has thrust upon me.
I’m scared that if I don’t jump right back into the job search, I might miss a perfect job opportunity. Or if I delay too long, the market will worsen, and my savings will dry up. These fears are compounded by the critical voices in my head, questioning whether I'm "pulling my weight" if I'm not generating income—despite my partner assuring me I do PLENTY at home, whether I'm working or not.
How do I give myself permission to take the rest I know I need?
I hear variations of these fears all the time. There’s a kind of catastrophic logic at work that says taking care of yourself means becoming a burden, throwing your future away, or bankrupting yourself. (Maybe all three!)
I’ll tell you this: I don’t know anyone who regrets giving themselves a lengthy pause to catch their breath.
Yet, for every person I know who stepped away from work to recover from burnout, I know 10 more who didn’t. Myself included. I muscled through my recovery in little pockets over years, taking two steps forward and one step back because all the stressors that wore me down remained. I survived, but I don’t recommend it.
The voices in your head aren’t malicious. When they say that taking a pause is risky, they aren’t necessarily wrong. But that doesn’t mean they’re always right, either. They can ignore the importance of protecting yourself from other kinds of risks: particularly, the erosion of your health, your spirit, your joy.
Our listener knows deep down those things matter. So Sara and I loved getting to end this season by exploring how she might get more comfortable prioritizing her quality of life over her professional (and personal) output. And why it’s so important.
If you’ve been too quick to talk yourself out of taking care of yourself, we hope this episode helps you too. Listen and subscribe here.
How do I give myself permission to rest?
What if I miss out on my dream job? What if no one ever hires me again? What if everyone hates me and my whole life falls apart and and and…
This fall at Active Voice
Workshop: Protect yourself from ADHD burnout
October 17
Bring yourself back from the brink by working with—not against—your brain. Join this workshop led by Jen and our friend Melissa Rogel, LMFT. Register before October 14.
Conference: Button 2025
October 22-24
Join us at content design’s big virtual conference! We’ll be hosting free speed coaching sessions just for attendees. Save $100 on an individual pass with the code AV100.
Makesensemess 2025
November 7
We love Abby Covert’s Sensemakers Club—so we’re psyched that Sara’s headlining the group’s annual conference! This year’s theme is how and why to keep shining your light on the messes you face. Grab a ticket.