Nice Work: Per My Last Email

Hey there,

Early in my career, I found out that a colleague was making substantially more than me—for a much less demanding role. I had great reviews, had taken on tons of new responsibilities, and had recently started managing a junior staff member. But it was a small company, and my role was unique—so I’d never actually been promoted. My job had just…inflated. And I’d gone along with it, confident that it would all add up to something. Till it didn’t. 

I had no idea what to do about it. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to be promoted to. I just knew things felt unfair. 

That feeling ate at me for months. I’d vent about it at happy hour and complain to my partner at the dinner table. But I still didn’t have a path forward. All I had was growing frustration.

I could tell a hundred stories like these—about workplace dilemmas that got stuck in my head, leaving me stressed and uncertain for months. And I could tell you how I used to deal with them, too: by chronically overworking and overthinking and overburdening myself.  

What I could have used back then was a guide—someone who could help me sort out my feelings, look at the situation through different lenses, and ultimately find the courage to make a change. 

Now, as a coach, I get to play that role for others. And I can see how much it would have helped me in my own career. 

That’s why Jen Dionisio and I created Per My Last Email—the new podcast we mentioned in our last newsletter. It’s a show about what to do when work gets weird: when you keep getting passive-aggressive emails from a colleague, or you feel guilty for surviving a layoff that your colleagues didn’t, or you’ve got a boss who keeps pushing your boundaries. 

EPISODE 1

My review sucked—now what?

You deserve an equitable, actionable, and thoughtful performance review. So how do you move forward when you get…something else entirely?

You can call it an advice show if you want: listeners submit dilemmas, and we talk through them. But we like to think of it as a coaching show—a space for us to share our toolkits with the world, and help our listeners choose a path forward that’s right for them. 

Our first episode is out today, and it’s all about performance reviews. We help a design strategist who got labeled “low performing” in their company’s stack-ranking system—despite heaps of praise from their colleagues. 

We hear from a former government worker who had their accessibility accommodations used against them in a review—and is now questioning whether to disclose their disability to a new employer. 

We help a college instructor wondering how to keep an unkind review from his department chair from ruining his reputation.

And we hear from a content designer struggling to move on from a review so buckwild, I won’t even try to describe it here. You’ll just have to listen. (Hint: the 📉 emoji plays a starring role.) 

Each of these people has a story that could easily leave them feeling powerless. Because there is a lot out of their control: their company’s employee ranking system, their boss’s ableism. So we did our best to help them identify the things they could change—so they could stop spiraling and start moving forward. 

I hope you’ll give it a listen. If you like it, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or your player of choice. It really helps a new show like ours find its audience. 

And if you have a work dilemma you’d like to hear us address on the show? Send it to us. Head to PMLEshow.com to submit. 

— Sara

Upcoming workshops

Lead Your Way
April 19 from 12-2:30pm ET

You don’t have to become someone else to be a leader. Learn how finding your true leadership strengths can help you beat impostor syndrome and bring your most powerful perspective to work.

2023 Team Reset
May 25 from 12-2:30pm ET 

Are layoffs, reorgs, or budget cuts causing stress on your team? Learn how to stay out of panic mode and navigate uncertain times with more clarity in this workshop.

Create Your Leadership Canvas
Two-part session. Meets June 27 and 29 from 12-2pm ET. 

Uncover your leadership values, gain confidence in your strengths, and establish the growth areas that are most meaningful to you right now. Leave with a complete personal leadership canvas you can use for both day-to-day decisions and big-picture career planning.

On the reading list

There is no table
I’ve talked to a thousand designers and content folks struggling to get a “seat at the table.” What if…there is no table, though? Chelsea Larsson says holding onto that belief “tricks your brain into thinking that someone else can define when and where you bring value.”

How to tell if a potential employer has a burnout culture
“So…what’s the culture like here?” If you ask this question in an interview, you’re likely to get a PR-approved response. If you want to avoid burnout in your next role, ask these deeper questions instead.

It doesn't matter if we behave
A gorgeous personal essay on Blackness, nail art, and the toll of “professionalism.” This stunner of a line stopped me in my tracks: “Even if they hired you to come in swinging, eventually they’ll expect you to curve your back to the shape of the institution.”

Be a thermostat, not a thermometer
We’ve all been in a meeting where one person’s stress changed the whole vibe, right? (I know I have been that person, too.) Lara Hogan calls that being the “thermostat”—someone who changes the temperature for everyone. But you can also be a thermostat for good—because when you project calm, present energy, others will mirror you. 

Helping others at work without burning out
So many clients have described themselves to me as “people-pleasers”—and told me they feel guilty when they don’t drop everything for others. But constantly helping out of guilt burns them out and leaves them on empty. These researchers found that when we give ourselves compassion instead, we can lend a hand to others in a more sustainable way.

The 2023 self-care playbook for UX researchers
This guide focuses on researchers, but I’d recommend it to anyone whose job requires them to de-center their own emotions so they can show up for others—especially people leaders. We all need tools for coming back to ourselves and processing our stress.